Transition takes various forms and modes.
Stories left untold.
Some heartbreak, some bold
Yet, all lead to similar roads

Cancer found within the breast.
From life of joy to one with little rest
Hopes turn to fears unsuppressed.
And dreams die under duress.

Liver decay found out late.
Desire transplant but body may not wait.
Hopes turn to fears unsuppressed
And dreams die under duress.

Wife finds love in another’s arms.
Hurts of the heart draw anxious alarms.
Hopes turn to fears unsuppressed
And dreams die under duress.

But may the peace of God that transcends all understanding guard your heart and mind

Wanting to fight, yet pain never ceases.
Seems all is lost, wrecked by diseases.
I want to be bold, courageous, and strong.
But what do I do when my will to fight is gone?

Doctors gave options, I couldn’t accept.
I might live longer but still staring at death.
I want to be bold, courageous, and strong.
But what do I do when my will to fight is gone?

Infusions and hospital stays.
No transplant, I chose AMA (Against Medical Advice).
Because…
I want to be bold, courageous, and strong.
But what do I do when my will to fight is gone?

Love of family cherished and desired reconciliation.
Yet, distance and phone calls have become the replacement.
I want to be bold, courageous, and strong.
But what do I do when my will to fight is gone?

But may the peace of God that transcends all understanding guard your heart and mind

Trying to return from paralyzing fear.
Life’s always 20/20 from the rear-view mirror
This pain is too much to bear.
And I’m too tired to care.

Curled up in a bed quietly welcoming death.
Bones frail from the cancer, slowly drawn breath.
Remember me when you feel all is lost.
Transitions come, my friend, so count cost.

Body failing, organs die.
Why didn’t I follow the plan, why?
Remember me when you feel all is lost.
Transitions come, my friend, so count cost.

Fear of rejection, unwanted, undesired
Feeling inadequate, stuck in the mire.

But…
I will remember you when I feel all is lost.
Transitions come, my friend, so I will count cost.

But may the peace of God that transcends all understanding guard your heart and mind

Hopes turn to fears unsuppressed
And dreams die under duress.
Yet, the choice to live can relieve spiritual distress.
Choosing peace will produce hope and rest.

I want to be bold, courageous, and strong.
But what do I do when my will to fight is gone?
Yet, the choice to live can relieve spiritual distress.
Choosing peace will produce hope and rest.

–

FCM Member Rev. Dr. Phill Parris is the Regional Vice President of South Central. He is a hospice chaplain in Wichita KS, a published author, and a poet. He follows the way of Christian Mysticism.